Clearing Out My Head: Realization

I am a terrible person!

Yes that's right...I never thought I would end up here..but when no one is there to hear you, you probably end up talking to yourself. This is the place where I talk to myself. Until now I have not felt the need to come here as it was not necessary, I was content and happy and I didn't needed to talk back to myself.

Oh by the way I talk to myself when either I am too happy or too sad or even depressed at times...These are some time when I need silence and peace. I like crowded and noisy places but sometimes the city lights, the people and everything haunt me and hence I end up locking myself in a room with no one but just my laptop, so that I can burst out everything that has been going in my mind..Clear all of it and then be happy again...sometimes it does the trick and I am back to normal and sometimes it does not help at all. But the chances of me being happy again are more and hence this unexpected post.

Ever since I was a child there are things that I could not tell anyone, things that still haunt me and things that make me a bad person....even terrible person. I have made mistakes but then who has not and have hurt people in ways that no one does but I have tried my best to sort it out every single time. I know my mistakes cannot be reversed and no matter what I do there will be some memories left. I am not perfect and I do mistakes but does that make me a bad person?

I have not thought of this until now and now when I think of all those mistakes I cannot only say I am a bad person....I have tried my best not to hurt people and make everyone happy but in doing so I have been hurt at times, even to the extent when I felt terrible, sometimes even beyond that...

So why this sudden realization?

It is because I did hurt one of my friend today but that was unknowingly and even though I never meant to hurt that person. I never have felt like this before and I am truly sorry for what I did. Although I have a soft corner for everyone this person has become more special for me and the last person on earth that I wish to hurt is this person. So the mistake has already been done and I feel quite responsible for bringing this upon me. Just when I thought I have started to know this person and felt that this person understood me better than anyone else, this happened and it changed everything in a fraction of seconds.

Suddenly I realized that this was not how I meant things to go with this person but then its life and we cannot predict anything. I am kind of moody and my mood swings very rapidly...So when I realized that life has tricked me again, I could only hope for something good to come...Yet it still seems that life has stored more for me then I have imagined..

I pretend I don't care but deep down I know how much I care and I don't need to show the world about this...Trust building takes time and when it breaks, it leaves some scary marks..

I don't know what will happen tomorrow and I am not pushing anybody to do anything. All I wanted to say from this post is that "I am Truly and Genuinely Sorry to everyone whom I have hurt knowingly or unknowingly. " If you could just forgive me for whatever I have done to you then I might be able to clear out from my own guilt. If you still feel I have done terrible things to you then please drop me a text or call me and let me know how I can clear out the mess between us.

This post is for all my friends, my loved ones and people I have met in this life and to each one of them I am personally saying sorry for being rude or anything towards them...I will try my best to be as frank and as calm and as easy going as I always have been. If I have stayed at your good times, I will definitely stand right beside you at your bad times.

I hope this posts reach everyone of you and I hope I can clear out head and be happy again.

I hope.

Thanks for bearing with me all this while, you guys have made my life more meaningful.

Thanks for all the sweet and lovable memories that you have shared with me and I hope we share more great memories as life progresses before death do us apart.

Thanks again.

9Always.

Is Money = Happiness?

Let's talk about this because what you believe is about to be proven wrong. I don't know if you believe in this theory that more money, more happiness. But wait until you discover and find out the truth.

So is Money really equal to happiness?

We have talked a lot about happiness and some ways to achieve happiness but like all other things it also fades away. So your happiness is driven by some forces that may last for some moments but it won't stay for long. The more you strive for it and the more you put efforts the more you get. But the real question stands here is : is money one of the driving forces of happiness?

Theoretically you can say yes people with lots of money are happy as they may seem, can do anything and are a lot more happier than you are but according to studies which have been done all over the world our theories are not correct. These studies conclude that although money can buy you happiness but it won't last for much longer and after a certain amount of income money does not give you any pleasure. This amount is estimated to be around $72,000 per year. So if your income exceeds that amount you will not really care much about money and it won't give you much happiness. This is a shocking truth as most of us would believe that acquiring more money will ultimately make us more happy but these studies clearly show a decrease in happiness level as we increase our income beyond a certain limit.

The graph can clearly show us one thing that although money can help you get some happiness and maybe a factor for your happiness but once you start earning more money and get to the peak (which is around $72,000/year) then your happiness decreases and becomes stable at some point. So after the peak income is achieved you suddenly start craving for something else, something more stable that could make you more happy. Also studies have also shown a gradual shift in behavioral changes as one increases his income. Some of these changes may be positive and some may be negatives but it depends a lot more on each and every person.

So What we can conclude with today's discussion is that, Yes Money can buy you happiness and money is equal to happiness until you reach a peak point in your income and then the value of money for your happiness becomes less important. So what other things can we do to get more happiness in life, Lets keep that for another discussion.

I hope this helps you clear out a certain things that you might have thought as true. But in the end it is you who has to decide which road to be on. Take your chances now.

Thanks. 

Charge Your Mind

You know like everyone else in this world I too wanted to grow up and then it turned out well for sometime. After I turned 23 it was almost like I was losing something every time and I was not able to understand what it was until I saw people growing and this was not because of some jealously or anything, it was because I realized what I have been doing for past few years - ''Nothing''.

So what was the one thing that my friends and colleagues had that I was lacking and why was I not growing at all, my knowledge was far less, I wasn't bothered in studying anything, life seemed boring and I hardly moved out of my room. I literally had become a nobody, people started neglecting me and I was more reserved and preferred loneliness. Now once I started to realize this that I was just a human being breathing and doing nothing else, my brain started to tickle and find ways to get out of this misery I was on.

So it all started well for the adulthood, I was confident, willing to do anything to pursue my dreams and motivated but then slowly I started to get more into the darker side of my brain and which always wanted me to stay away from anything and everything. Bad habits started to curl on me and from enjoying to addiction I had crossed every limit because my mind was alright with all this and I fucking didn't care about anything.

Now when the point came to exploding and I was literally going to give up on life, I found something interesting and I have discussed this before, I found light in those darkness. And that was the point in my life, which literally changed me to what I am today. Although I might have not gained much success but I have gained is a pretty good experience and I am still in the phase of learning what life has to teach me and this blog is just about that change. 

"I can only see the change in this world only if I change me." - Simple yet powerful statement.

Now in the process of discovering myself I found interesting things and these things meant to be life changing for me.Out of the many things that I learned from getting to know myself I found that I need to "CHARGE MY BRAIN". Yes, keep your brain fed up with information or problems and challenge your brain and eventually you will get on to your goals. There is no sure short formula for success but unless you take the first step, you will end up nowhere.

So this was the first step- Charging your brain. Once the idea or information or problem is fed in the brain, try to get the possible solutions and start training your brain. I searched for and opted a lot of useful programs that are available online and found one very interesting article that said you need to related everything to the SEX methodology.

Well that might sound creepy but in fact its not because SEX method is the best way to keep your brain charged. Let us understand what this method is : everything in this world can be learned if you could relate it with something that you already know or see or heard or basically your brain's database. So once you relate your idea, information or problem with something that you already know you have already got a connection and then you produce result that is ultimately stored or updated in your brain. So the process of sex method is simple: you get new information, you mate or match them with your own information and then produce the final information and boom you have already charged your brain.

Now what's more interesting is when you do this every day you will start to develop a keen interest in it and then you will not move to the darker parts of your brain that is willing to take over you. I know its a little bit difficult to keep this going on but believe me once you develop a taste for it, your brain would ask for more. And the best part the more you feed the brain, the more you get to know yourself and the more you know yourself, the more you can change yourself and the more you change yourself, the better you become.

So start charging your brain with anything and everything. If you are stuck or distracted add the sex method to your life and you will be back on track. The key to focus here is training your brain and keeping it occupied with necessary things. Let the world see who you truly are.

Thanks.

Decision, Choice and Option- Is There a Distinction?

Life is all about what we decide to do with it and what options or choices we opt for. So Yes! it makes somewhat necessary to understand the true meaning of the terms- Decision, Choice and Option and is there any distinction between these terms? Well maybe.

While my Life has been teaching a great deal of things, this New Year 2015 has started teaching me the real meaning of life, So yeah I am learning Life Lessons from my own life and although it hurts to learn a few of these things but I know this would only help me to stay strong. So the first thing that I learned this year is the real difference between Decision, Choices and Options. So let me stick to these terms first before I get into other things. Let us understand the dictionary meaning of these terms.

Decision - "a conclusion or resolution reached after consideration" or "the action or process of deciding something or of resolving a question or a formal judgment."

Choice - "an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities."

Option - "a thing that is or may be chosen."

Now the meanings of these three terms can clearly signify some things like we need to have some Choice or Option in order to take a Decision. Also Choice and Options are the synonyms of each other. When you dive in deeper, the origins of the these words are interesting. But these are just the dictionary meaning, they can mean a lot more when it comes to their usability in one's life. These simple terms can sometimes complicate things while sometimes they can make things a lot more easier than we might have ever thought.

Let's get the insight of what these mean to one's life and how one is effected by them.

First, Decision is something that we need to take all the time with our life, no matter what we do and where we are, we need to decide what to do with our life. Your whole life is effected by the decision you take but how do you actually decide on something. Here's comes the tricky and important part- to decide on anything you either need to have a choice or a list of options. Options are actually your possibilities but choices are the right or opportunity to choose. You may choose from a list of option and then decide what to do.

You see how these words get connected as we go along. Let us take a simple example of choosing from two options A and B as shown in the following image.

Now We can either choose Door A or Door B and we can decide to choose from these two options A and B. So decisions are mainly influenced by the options we have and the choices we make out of it. So options are the possibilities and choices are the ways we can choose those options, that ultimately is the goal of decision making.

Now Life has taught me is always be a choice and not an option. All my life i thought options are  better because they are easy to exploit and there is no harm in being an option. Why be a choice when you can be an option- This was what I thought before reality stuck me and wake me up. Now I know choices are very important, options are not. When someone chooses you, then you are a great person but when someones opts you, you are just an option and people do opt a lot of things but choose to keep only a few things.

So remember my friend, always be a choice and never be an option. If someone sees you as an option then its better to stay out rather than getting involved because in truth you are going to hurt yourself at the end. Also if you find someone choosing you over others you must always go for it and never let it go because you will find very few people who will choose you and not opt you from a list of persons. If someone choose you willingly then that person is going to hold you till the end of your life.

I never realized that I have been an options all this time, people took me for granted because there was no choice for them, so they opted me and not choose me. When the truth came in and I looked back it really hurt me to see that the people I have cared for and did things for have only opted me just to fill in someone's other place in their life until that person came back and when that person was back I was thrown out of the equation like I never existed in their life.

It hurt me, stuck deep into my heart but then I realized it was all my decision and I should not regret on my decisions as it were already taken but what I can do now is be more careful and stay away from people who see me as an option. If they got to opt me in their life I too have the choice to opt them out. It is this simple, we make our own decision but we do not learn from it because if we learnt from the consequences of our decision we would make our life more meaningful.

I will end with a few key points today:

1. Spend the time to develop a mindset on how to build a meaningful Life.

2. Decisions still matter, so always use a process to give out on bad options and choose the best ones possible.

I hope you have a great day and you did learn something valuable today.

Thanks.